It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life is meaningful
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life it is...so...wonderful
I tried to write about this topic a while back, maybe April, but something happened and made the warm fuzzies go away. And then i would have posted what I had but it got deleted from my notes. A lot of it was originally brought on by my amazing birthday celebrations this year. That's when I began to realize how awesome my friends are.
So now that I'm in a super happy mood, I'm gonna crank it
out.
I am astounded at the blessings that have been put into my
life. God has made my path cross with some of the most amazing people. I claim
constantly that I'm not a people person yet I'm a typical Aries who loves to be
in the middle of it all.
Lately, I've spent almost no time at home because my
beautiful friends always claim me. I can't say no, not because I'm bad at
turning stuff down, but because I absolutely love spending time with people.
I loved Navarro tour cuz I spent so much time with people
being silly backstage and getting to interact with the kiddos. After that was
all over, the cycle just continued.
These past six days have been some of the best this year. I
was with a few of my favorite family members, my roommate, I got a new church
choir job, finally saw a band live that I've been waiting to see for years,
went sight seeing in SA, and just spent random time in the company of quirky
people doing lots of nothing.
Each time before I do something, I think how I would rather
stay home, then I force myself to go and am immediately happy that I went.
I'm even hanging out with different people than usual and
it's kinda nice to mix it up.
This past year, two years, has been filled with stress,
troubles, uncertainty, sadness, confusion, lack of faith, hopelessness, wonder,
long nights, homesickness, pain and hard work.
In the midst of all this chaos, I somehow developed several
deep connections with people and gained a bunch of friends. I define a friend
as a person who enjoys your company and is willing and wanting to enjoy it
outside of any previous obligation to be in your company. Not all of these
people would die for me but they are indeed more than acquaintances.
After the fog of academia was lifted, my social side emerged, I realized I was like
this in Monroe, I just forgot what it was like to have plans every night, to
have a weekly hang out at a certain place where you could run into anyone.
I feel like I have a life, like on sitcoms.
A group of friends who get together to do the same
activities and go to the same places
regularly.
It's beautiful lol
I know I sound ridiculous but I am really happy right now.
I have so many little problems that could really get me down
but the love and support from this group of people is making it so easy to deal
with the bad things life throws at me.
They are my distraction and friends like Melissa, Jessica,
Toni, and Ashley try to keep me in check spiritually...only Jessica is here to
hold my hand through stupid decisions I make and to accompany me to mass, the
rest are a phone call away to tell me it'll be ok, to tell me to trust, or to
share an appropriate bible verse or page from a daily prayer book. And then
there's the roommate who knows everything and when I need to break down, she is
there to make me feel uncomfortable about crying...thus I shut up and blog lol
Speaking of blogging,
I learned a lesson the hard way, I should not blog about
people, even if I think I'm being vague, you never know who will read it. You
never know who silently stalks you hahaha
This happened in nov/dec and caused a conversation that I
wasn't ready to have and I think it kind of broke a friendship cuz we don't
talk anymore. And then again it happened yesterday...but how am I supposed to
know my blog is actually being read by people who know me??
ooops :-/
This however had a better outcome, I think, I was supper
blushed and embarrassed but I was also grinning from ear to ear. (In case you
read this and were wondering)
[...I just paused and re-read those blogs cuz I never
remember what I write unless it's clever....I'm kind of mortified...I was crazy
honest and now I'm shocked that he actually spoke to me yesterday...at least he
knows I think he's the shit, but he also knows I'm nuts, just like Liz Lemmon,
Too Soon! I'm probably gonna stick my head in the sand for a few days and learn
my lesson and write in my old journal instead...wow...I
digress]
So though I am unemployed, running out of money, not in the
best health, and not sure about my next step in life or what I really want from
a career, I am so very happy.
I still need to work on my soul, my spirituality seems to
have been put on the back burner which honestly makes me loose a sense of self.
I had a certain identity for so long and now that that's
gone, I'm kind of confused. I focus my prayers on my seriously sick friends and
family members, I forget to make time to pray for myself or even to simply
meditate on the word. I listened to my favorite priest's homily last Sunday and
he just speaks with so much love. He's the epitome of what a priest should be.
I really want to go talk to him about everything, I just need some spiritual guidance.
That being said, I know God is working great things in my life, my happiness
right now is coming from a place of light and love not from the temptations of
the devil. So first off I need to work on my thankfulness for all of the
wonderful people in my life.
I am so very loved.
It feels wonderful.
I hope they know how much they mean to me because there is
not way I can properly express my gratitude for their part in my everyday life.
I hope you guys read this and know how much I love you. I
know it's not easy being friends with me, but you would never know that by how
y'all act. I love you.
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