On the Bad Side of 25

Here's a random topic I've wanted to blog about for a couple months, it's basically an album review. How Patrick Stump's "Soul Punk" relates to my life.

There's an initial shock that takes place when you look at the up and coming musicians, actors, comedians and athletes and realize they are not older than you anymore. These highly successful people who entertain you are your age...or even worse, younger. This has been happening to me a lot within the last year. I look at where these famous people are in life then I look at my extended circle of friends (Facebook) and then I look in the mirror. Much like Michael Jackson, I have a talk with myself and decide that it's time to have a life, have a career. Then I get depressed and curse the gift of music. Then I usually go listen to music to cheer myself up and realize all over again why I study music instead of a more left brain oriented subject and I am fine again.

I am a huge fan of the music of Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco. It's fun, good beats, good choruses to sing along to...just crazy upbeat music you don't haven't think about with clever yet strange lyrics. While I'm a big fan of the music, I know little more about the bands beside Pete Wentz and Brendon Urie. I save my groupie status for Matchbox Twenty, Jason Mraz, & Gavin DeGraw...
Well I fell in love with most recent Panic! album which has more meaningful lyrics for some songs and more inventive music. I listened to the cd over and over again. One third of the songs on the album make my top 25 most played early this summer. So when I saw they would be in concert in Austin, I knew I was going. I didn't look at the opening acts, just date, location, time, and cost. While there I had one of those "oh my God I'm so old at this all ages show with a bunch of pre-teens" moments. I needed a drink to deal with my feeling of decrepitness. I soon remembered that I had been listening to this band long before they even developed musical tastes and I felt a bit better. (especially because all the old fogies were chillin 
all the way in the back of the hall far away from the pit in front of the stage)

I promise I'm getting somewhere...

The opening act was some screaming weird crap with a cracked out lead singer and a mod podge looking band...

The second opening act won me over in the first 30 seconds cuz they were wearing suits had a keytar, used lots of synth,  and the lead singer walks out singing David Bowie's "Let's Dance". This is already infinitely better than the last band and I liked his voice.  Then I hear his name and realize he's the guy who sings that "This City" song I really like. As the set goes on I like a lot of his music and my friend mentions that he sounds like lead singer of Fall Out Boy. I disagree. Then he sing a song with lyrics that I totally relate to. I'm sold. His cd was purchased before the next set.

We have an hour drive home so we listen to the whole cd while I look him up online. He is the former lead singer of Fall Out Boy. Strange that I disagree cuz I could usually pick his voice out anywhere, but the music is infinitely different. Many of the topics of the songs hit home. Not in a deep "this music so relates to my inner turmoilI" bull, but in a "I totally get that" sort of way. Soon, I discover he is merely several months older than me and that he recorded everything on this album himself. He played every instrument. He sang every vocal. There's that feeling of defeat creeping in again.
Luckily, my relation to the topics totally blew that dark cloud away. I realized that the fact that he was my age meant he was writing about stuff that affects us twenty-somethings. (much like Jamie Cullum satires the life of a twenty-something in his song Twenty-Something, yes, I digress)

And here begins my blog on Patrick Stump's Soul Punk (which is neither soul nor punk but maybe a bastard child of the two or a former "punk" singer singing soulfully....either way it works) 

Let's begin with the single "This City"
I'm sure he is talking about his home town but his feelings toward his city, but I have a love for my home town and this song could very well be my anthem to the city I love. Basically the whole song works, but here are 2 excerpts:
"Cause this city is my city
And I love it, yeah I love it
I was born and raised here
I got it made here
And if I have my way, I'm gonna stay here
For life, uh huh"
"You can take my picture,
You can take my name,
But you're never gonna take my city away
Cause you can burn it to the ground
Oh or let it flood, but it's in my blood"

And for the title of this entry "Bad Side of 25"
Everyone says nothing good comes after 25....well that's proven to be sort of true. After I hit 26 I've had more ailments and heartaches than ever...here are some tidbits:
"And all the good old boys are playing bad new songs
On the country station while the city moves on"
"So you wake to grab the paper
Sip your coffee too much grind
You don’t so much mind the aging
You just mind the getting wise"
"Mix two parts jack with two bloodshot eyes
And you still feel cheated when your buzz subsides)"

A peppy ditty "Spotlight (new regrets)"
Just a little empowerment song about moving on and being your own person.
"Every word's a new regret if you say it right, right
Every wound can be forgotten in the right light
Oh nostalgia, I don't need you anymore
'Cause the silent days are over and the beat is at my door
They might try to tell you how you can live your life
But don't, don't forget it's your right
To do whatever you like, you like
'Cause you could be your own spotlight (a-yo, a-yo)"
"Depression is a little like happy hour, right?
So, it's always gotta be happening somewhere on any (any) given (given) night"

Briefly "The i in Lie"
This song applies to me in no way. But lately this line stings:
"But honey if he seems too good to be true
Well, guess what? He probably is
Whatever this is it doesn’t feel right
So just stop, breathe, count to three
Get your head right like:
I put the I in lie"

And after 25, going out and recouping tends to get abut more difficult...
"Run Dry ( cross my heart cross my fingers)"
This is the theme song after every night I stay out a little too late or drink a little too much. Perfect song, I have to post the whole thing.
"One more shot then I'm quitting forever
Cross my heart, cross my fingers [x2]

Woke up this morning
The room was spinning
And I don't remember what I did last night
Beg the ceiling for forgiveness
Cause I don't want to remember what I did last night
When I was drunk I might have said some things I didn't mean
There's nothing wrong with you, it's something wrong with me

I'm running dry from now on
How come no one believes me?
Believe me

Step one: drink
Step two: make mistakes
Step three: pretend you don't remember
Step four: drink a little more
Step five: I need to run dry
I need to run dry

My liver's killing me
But willingly I'm going to tell whoever asks that I feel alright
I beg the ceiling for forgiveness
Cause I don't want to remember what I did last night
When I was drunk I might have some things I didn't mean
There's nothing wrong with you, it's something wrong with me

Step one: drink
Step two: make mistakes
Step three: pretend you don't remember
Step four: drink a little more
Step five: I need to run dry
I need to run dry

I'm gonna take one more shot
Then I'm quitting forever
Cross my heart, cross my fingers [x2]
[x2]

I get drunk a little too much
For it to be healthy
No one wants to tell me...
Whiskey
I'm trying to cut back
Wine
I'm trying to cut back
They say everything in moderation
But I'll drink you under the table
I'm not just drunk
I really think I'm in love with you baby
(Okay, I really am just drunk)

Step one....."

The most apropos song of them all "Everybody Wants Somebody"
No introduction is needed:
"Everybody wants somebody
Who doesn't want them,
Who want somebody else, baby.
You want somebody?
Oh, you want someone?
Somebody else, somebody else
Listen now
Don't get hurt, don't you get hurt."
"But epiphany is such a cliche
There’s plenty of fish in the wrong sea
Like there’s a premium on mystery again"


Well, if you made it through all of those lyrics, then you understand and you should probably check these songs out. They're all Jamz (that's right, with a z)
Hope you enjoy this music that is a throwback to a little Prince, David Bowie, and Michael Jackson...quite delightful.

Happy Listening!
Modizzle 

We'll be better off somehow, someday...

I've wanted to blog for a while. Unfortunately the only things I've wanted to talk about are not appropriate for public viewing. Therefor, I've been avoiding blogging so that my bitterness wouldn't creep out in my writing. Now, I am at a place where I can briefly address it. Here it is: Trust is a big issue for me. Both having it and not having it. As I am a little screwed up, it takes a while for me to trust someone. Being made a fool of by a person I took so long to trust makes me feel humiliated. Honestly, it makes me hurt. I feel like someone motioned for me to come closer so they could tell me a secret and then they punched me in the face. That analogy is so close to the truth, its not every funny. I am currently working on forgiving and forgetting, I am trying very hard. It is the right thing to do. The problem is, I am unsure if my trust was ever deserved. It was deliberately violated while I was placated and tricked into trusting more. That's where I am and that's all I will say about that. 

More tomorrow on lighter topics, something I've meant to write about months ago....