Since I'm home on a sick day and incredibly bored and alone, I decided I could finally write my fun blog about first kisses. I had some really funny 'isms' to go along with this when I first had the idea but now it is no longer fresh, so forgive me if it isn't as comical as I intend.
So when you like someone, you daydream about that moment when they realize you are irresistible and they go in for the first kiss...ahh the daydream is pure bliss, but in reality the moment can be sheer awkwardness. Allow me to share my most memorable smooches...good and bad. Don't worry, this will all be PG.
Sweetest kiss:
I was interested in this guy for what seemed like ages. We were friends and would go from hanging out, with friends, on a weekly basis to not communicating for months. I never forgot about him and would stalk his fb weekly and scoff if he was ever dating someone. between you and me, I'm pretty sure he kept his eye on my wall somewhat frequently as well. you see, I made it clear from very early on that I was interested in him. maybe I came on a little too strong, but what ever brand of pheromones he was throwing just made me crazy. We had the "more than friends" talk where he gave the "i like you and don't want to ruin our friendship" speech. however, this speech wasn't the typical one. He confessed that he actually has considered dating me but decided we weren't right for each other. I figure you can't really tell that unless you date. (yes you can of course look at someone and know you would never have a future, but when you already are friends and enjoy each other's company, you really can't make that call without giving it a shot) SO this is how it remained for months, until one night that may have involved a bit too much alcohol. Soon, neither one of us would live in the same city and we were basically having a farewell hang. But we both had been thinking about the other. Being the man that he is, he didn't pick up the signals when we were together, so on my way home I texted him what I had been thinking. he has his Homer Simpson "DOH" moment and meets me in the parking lot of my friends apartment complex. And here is when I start to chicken out and get awkward. I honestly couldn't believe that after all this time he was actually there to kiss me and all I could manage to do was hug him. Finally he takes the lead in this dance, kisses my forehead then tilts up my chin and places the slowest most gentle kiss I've ever had. It was a matter of seconds but it moved in slow motion. Almost immediately after I ran away to my friends apt. He left but my friend had fallen asleep and accidentally locked me out. Ridiculously embarrassed that I fled and shamefully stranded in an apartment complex at 3am, I had to ask hime to come back and give me a ride home. Most awkward ride ever, and worst of all, there was no acknowledgement of the moment we shared together. We would revisit our interest in each other in the future but with no long lasting results.
Movie Moment Kiss:
I fell hard for this guy. We hit it off like long time friends, getting to know each other in a matter of days and enjoying every conversation. Only problem was I could tell if I was in the friend zone or being considered as a dating possibility. You see, before my fall, I had only sought friendship from this super cool guy that I wasn't very attracted to. Unfortunately that changed pretty quick. I invited him to a party that my friends and I were having and he was a blast. As people left, he stayed around. After everyone was gone we took a ride to get a soda and came back continuing to talk. It was really quiet, the lights were off and everyone was asleep. Our discussion took a more deep sentimental turn as we discussed serious matters close to our hearts. Honestly these were subjects you barely talk about with long term friends. After one particularly melancholy comment about family, we both sat there in the silence and our eyes met. He leaned in, as if scripted and kissed me for like 10 minutes. (ok maybe only 5) This moment will remain perfect in my memory forever. Sadly, every moment following that kiss for the next 3 weeks I wish I could erase from existence. But hey, you live, you learn, and sometimes you're just the rebound.
Best Kiss Ever:
I dated a few hot guys. And by dated I mean gone on at least 2 dates with. I could not figure out what this particular guy saw in me. I liked him cuz he was fun to banter with and he made me feel special. We were always very awkward together. Chatting was easy but eye contact was not. I could never figure him out, but after a few weeks, his attractiveness started to drive me crazy. He came over one day and for the first time sat on the sofa with me. On this particular day conversation was hard to come by and we were left with thick silence. So I guess I just couldn't take it anymore and stated "are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna kiss me?" He laughed and reached over and gave the the most amazing kiss I think I've ever experience. I can't even begin to describe it or why it was so good, but boy knew what he was doing. I'm guessing he was thoroughly unimpressed with my kissing ability as that was the last day I ever heard from him. Oh well, I feel like I won this one.
The Awkward "are we pre-teens" Kiss:
This kiss definitely did not happen when I was a preteen, however, it felt so inexperienced.
Sometimes people find each other and fall in love immediately but don't want to admit it o themselves or the other person. So you make sure to take it slow. I did not this this person would ever get to the "want to kiss him" stage but after only a few short days that began to change. He was so genuine, kind, goofy, argumentative, honest, and playful. He was kid at heart but in no way immature. this gentleman made me feel like I was being courted. One night he came over for dinner and we ate and had good conversation. We talked about God, what we wanted in a partner and where we were in life. I think after this conversation we both knew we needed to keep dating because there was something there. So as he left I, being a huggy person, went to give him a hug goodbye. I could tell he wanted to kiss me so I immediately replaced the position of my lips with my nose. He was only gonna give me a peck, but I wanted to wait. I already planned in my head that we would kiss after our next planned formal date. I though it would be cute and perfect and since it was the next day, I wouldn't have to wait very long. Our date night ended up being detained so instead of going out we stayed in to watch a movie. We sit on the couch, he opens netflix and picks Disney. Halfway though the first movie I've become smitten and snuggle up to him and lay my head on his chest. I feel like the moment is perfect. Here we are almost 30 and we're enjoying disney cartoons together, while drinking Disaronno and orange juice, theres no way it could get more perfect. after the second movie, I'm sufficiently wooed and he's pretty satisfied with me so I think, now is the time we kiss. No sooner I have that thought and look over to him, he kisses my cheek. I'm sure I started blushing as I smiled and then leaned over so he could really kiss me. Sounds perfect so far right? Well we don't read each other well, our noses get in the way and by the time we fix things the kiss is just not that good. What a let down after that build up. But, if at first you don't succeed...it only took us one more try to get it right. And as life would have it, this extremely imperfect kiss lead to many more kisses from my favorite person to kiss. The kisses are passionate but reserved, sweet and filled with love, and irritatingly infrequent. But this blog was about first kisses anyway.
I always remember how Mia, in Princess Diaries, describes what she wants in a first kiss, she imagines her foot popping up. I suppose I'm lucky as I've had lots of memorable firsts. As I think back on all these kisses, I just realized the only moment I want to relive is that awkward kiss. I only vaguely remember it and i wish i would have cherished it's quirkiness in the moment instead of trying to immediately make it un-awkward. I have a friend who has only kissed her husband. I find that sweet, special and refreshing. I sometimes wish I had that kind of love story but I realize that this last awkward kiss is so special because it was nothing like the rest. It's refreshing in it's own way. And here's a little secret, I want that awkward first kiss to be my last first kiss ever. So maybe love isn't passionate movie kisses or long awaited kisses that take liquid courage, or even perfect kisses for ridiculously attractive people, as they always say, it's unexpected.
