It seems like life keeps throwing unpleasantries at you, piling them one on top the other until you think you're gonna explode. Then, quite inexplicably, you realize you're ok and you're having a good day. When you think about it closer, it's really the forth good day in a row. Somehow your quality of life improved and you didn't even realize it. That's where I am right now. A few months ago I was miserable almost every day. Recently, I noticed that I am usually cheery & thoroughly enjoying random non-monumental moments.
My happy go lucky attitude is also unusual because of the impending and current changes taking place in my life. Every two-three weeks, another friend moves away and who knows if I'll ever see these people again. Somehow I have made the best of these situations. In one case, I spent approximately 60 of 72 hours with with my friend before her departure. These last hours I've been "hanging" with my friends have been some of the best moments I've ever shared with them. Maybe that explains my joviality.
I digress.
What I really mean to be talking about is how life always becomes great right before everything changes. I experienced this during the summer of 2005. I had a great job with awesome co-workers who I now call friends. My "social life" was at an all time high. I could afford to buy things and go places. I was still tight with my high school friends. I just got a Facebook account. (ha) My piano skills were improving everyday. I was accepted to my "dream school" and was crazy nervous about beginning. Only a few month earlier, I was extremely unhappy with every aspect of my life. So when I finally realized how happy I was it was too late for me to revel in it. Katrina hit and instantly changed everything.
I feel this pattern reoccuring. I'm about to leave everyone and live farther away than I ever have. And only now am I extremely content with where I am. I have some really good friendships that need minimal upkeep because we are so comfortable with the friendship. I'm very happy with my church job (the congregation, choir members, music director, priests included). I just started working a part time mall job, so while not ideal, the extra income is very welcome. I finally feel like I have a home and not just a pit stop. One word to sum it up: Comfort. Now, i'll have to start all over again and I realize that wouldn't last if I did stay, so I'm not complaining.
Just observing. With a smile.
Really nice read. I disagree with the starting over though. You need to see the continuation of your journey as an extension of your life in Monroe. That way, you won't miss reveling in the happiness when it hits you. Instead, you'll enjoy it, and be a little more ready for the next step when it comes along. :-)
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