Little Monsters & Happily Ever After

I was planning on writing something about school or my past weekend, but I figured something out about myself so I thought I should share. Beware, it's shocking.

For as as long as I can remember, I have sworn off kids. I was never one of those little girls who loved playing with babies. As I grew older, I never developed a tolerance or longing for children. I think all new born babies are ugly and I prefer not to take my turn holding babies. Also, I will never complement you on your kids beauty if it's not beautiful. I never babysat or volunteered at nurseries. It just wasn't my thing. I like baby animals not baby humans....it goes the same way for adults actually.
I remember liking my little cousin Alexis and a family friends' kid. That's it.

Within the past few years the desire to have little monsters of my own never surfaced. I did, however, begin to be excited about people I love having babies. When one of my dearest friends became pregnant I was tickled pink because I knew how ready she was to be a mother. I also knew that she was going to be amazing. At the same time, it seemed like all of my friends & acquaintances were getting married or getting pregnant. While I felt out of the loop, I was not ready to be married and definitely not ready for children.
That was my story, and I was sticking to it.......until now.

I love being single because I only have to worry about me. I do what I want, when I want, however I want. The problem with this statement is simple if you know me. It in no way fits my personality. I am loving, nurturing, and caring. I consistently spend my days doing little things to make the people I love happy, putting them before me. That being said, I think I actually am ready for marriage, minus the ability to be financially stable.
Second thing I've learned about myself: I want children. I still have a low tolerance for kids. I still think new borns are ugly. But I love seeing my friends kids grow up. I love babysitting that handsome little 2 year old from church. I love the smile he gives me when he sees me. I love his little run to give me a hug. I love the way he yells "Mo!!" when I ask him what my name is. I love rocking him and hugging him when he misses his mommy. 
When I go to Mass and see young families sitting together, I want that.
This is HUGE for me. So, I'm not gonna dwell on it, in fact, I'll ignore it.

I like being single, I can't stand kids, I want to sing.....
Ah, that's better.