On being a Bum or ‎"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" John Lennon

For as long as I can remember, I have a been a busy body. I've always had my hands in one activity while my feet were in another. I wasn't afraid to get up in front of people and do stuff. (for example: I was in the "jr. drama club" in 1st grade) When playing with my cousins, I always organized the games, especially when we played school. So not only did i have to be doing something, I had to be in charge. Guess its the Aries in me. My grades were never amazing. I procrastinated on everything yet wanted it to be more than perfect. An overachieving procrastinating perfectionist with an extracurricular activity for every day of the week and her head in the clouds, yep that was me throughout high school. Without exaggerating, I can tell you that I was in at least 8 organizations in high school and an officer of 2 or more every year. Needless to say, I aspired for Bs & Cs. I don't regret being a mediocre student for one second and I am thankful for my parents sacrifices to send me to good schools. Sure, had I spent as much time studying chemistry and biology as I did working on art projects and expanding my music library, I might have made NHS, received TOPS, and actually gone to Vet school. This sentence no longer conjures up regrets, but as a freshman in college it really stung.

It's safe to say that during my first 3 years of college I was not myself. I was cautious, quiet, and cared about what people thought. No longer would I just say what I was thinking, offer suggestion, or put myself out there in any way. In high school, I sang for anything and everything  including pop songs at talent shows. And believe me people, I sucked. Another new development was my nearly perfect grades. Even though my only school organization was literary club and writing an occasional article for the newspaper, I remained busy. I was co-enrolled (because one school just wasn't good enough) and I planned everything. I knew what classes I was taking every semester for the next 5 years. I followed the degree plan of the school to which I hoped to transfer. I clung to my best friend, whom I had most of my classes with, and only made 3 more. Thankfully, I began to fall out of this a bit after beginning my first big girl job at a vet clinic.  Unfortunately, it left residual damage. (more on this later, I know you're thrilled)

I somehow learned how to juggle (with minimal nervous breakdowns) making nearly perfect grades, working 2 - 3 jobs, being the president of organizations, and a cast member of shows. (I'm sure my vocal development suffered and that is regretable) I became some kind of hybrid of my teenage and early college-self. (residual damage alert and tense change) I am always myself, but I do sometimes worry about how I am perceived. I speak my mind, but only on things I am sure of. I sing as much as I can, but I am careful to only sing what I am good at. I love musicals but I've given up on having a role or a solo. I can count on one hand the number of times I have sung karaoke, yet every bone in my body wants to get up there and have fun. I study hard and plan plan plan, but I still spread myself out into many activities.
Then I graduated.....and for the first time in my life.....I had no plan.

(and for those of you wondering, here beings my "point")

I really hoped to work full time at my job and save up money while I figured things out but that didn't work. (of course that story is another bitter blog that lives in the silence of my heart and the ears of my friends) So, after months of filling out applications, making audition tapes, slowing going broke and whoring out my savings account, February found me basically unemployed. This was a new "first" in my life. I had no responsibilities, no bed time, no rise time. No reason to leave the house.
This, my friends, was miserable......until it wasn't. 

I reluctantly discovered freedom. The little bohemian inside of me was able to thrive. I became more spontaneous. I visited my family more often. I started a blog, even if only 3 of my closest friends read it, at least I'm writing again. (subsequently, starting today, i will actually tell people that I have a blog)
I became more indulgent of every day life. I lived.
I heard that Lennon quote on a movie a couple days ago and I realized how true it was. Yes, of course we need structure and plans, but we also need room to break those plans or add in new ones. Make mistakes and move on. This brings me to the present day.

On June 19, I'm moving in with my cousin in Baton Rouge to work a full time job for 7 weeks. While there I will be closer to my family and my oldest friends. I will be able to be a better bridesmaid as the wedding date gets closer. I will be forced to hone in on my salsa/bachata/reggaeton/punta skills (or lack-there-of) among other things. Then I will briefly return to home to collect my belongings and make the trek to San Antonio. Sounds like a plan, I know, but trust me, I have left a lot of room for living.