Yesterday was a great Easter Sunday

Lent has come and gone. And like most things in my life, i failed, yet again. I began the first two weeks with sufficient alone time and trips to adoration. I was reading a guided devotional to help with my lenten journey. I really enjoyed the writing and the questions it made me ask myself. And then i just "got too busy." How do I consistently get too busy for God? I'm hurting, I have to move, I'm too exhausted, i haven't been able to sit alone, i have an injury on my leg, I have an appointment, I have all this music to learn, I have to work, I have to nap, I have to cook, I have to clean....the list is eternal yet none of the excuses should be so powerful as to come before prayer. But everyday they do. So now, Easter has arrived and instead of feeling joy, I feel shame and failure. He died for me and I can't even set aside 10 minutes a day to address Him, thank him, offer my difficulties of  the day to him.
What is wrong with me? Where are my priorities? I just don't know what I do with the hours of my life. I feel like i wake up and wait for my meals and bed time. Only to repeat the cycle the next day.
And when work day comes, I search for reasons not to go. BUT WHY!?! It's not like I get anything done when I'm home. I'm not having a good day today, but I don't understand why. Nothing bad has happened and I've relaxed with my mom. But i haven't accomplished anything so therefore my day is ruined. And now, it's going to take me two hours to get to my friend's recital, so there goes the rest of my day. I must be going though a bad mental patch. I notice the constant unhappiness for no reason.
I have a new beautiful town home. My mom is visiting. I have my dog. I am able to pay my bills.
But I am not happy. It can't all be because I'm worried about one thing, can it?
Maybe it wasn't the best time to blog.
I come back when my head is more level.