The blank television fills the room with a soft glow
The warm and fuzzy four legged companion makes himself at home on the sofa
Schubert plays quietly in the background, just audible over the hum of the air conditioning
I can still hear the doves cooing down the chimney before they bed for the night
I wait and think and hope for this tranquil scene to appeal to me.
I long for these quiet nights to bring me peace once more.
When I began this blog, I believe I spent a lot of time alone. And I also craved my alone times.
Whatever has taken over my life these past three years, has also made me into a very needy person.
I crave company. Even if the person is silent, their body in the room, their physical presence brings me comfort. My roommate is currently out of town in the African bush, my boyfriend is out of town at a convention, and my mother just left to go back to Louisiana today. I haven't been alone in weeks. I should be happy that I have some peace and quiet, yet all I do is try to find things to keep my occupied. This would be easy if my wii wasn't acting up and making it difficult for me to stream netflix and hulu. Also, I have this weird thing where I hate watching movies alone. I could read. I even bring a book around wherever I choose to sit, but I never open it. I feel like singing, or painting. but my jaw is killing me cuz I've been grinding my teeth at night and I'm supposed to be keeping my leg elevated. I feel like my muscles are atrophying over night. I'm not sure how much longer I had to be on this kind of rest but I'm going a little batty. You see, the thing is, I will have a thought and it would be nice to share the thought with someone. But no one is here, my bf barely texts me during the day so I try not to text him, it's not profound enough to waste my fb limit on, my SA friends rarely reply to my texts lately, and my other friends...I just chose not to bother.
So here I am, deciding to blog. I have nothing interesting to blog about though.
These woe is me sessions must get exhausting to read. I mean, I assume "you" that someone out there is cyber world is reading these pages. I know my friends don't really read...besides dearest Melissa, who gets me through hard times by reminding me that all I need is the love and company of God. He is enough.
I know He is, and I used to be comforted with that thought. But I am a touchy person, and sometimes I just need a hug.
ok this blog feels pointless and is putting me to sleep.
I need a new topic to write about before I return here.
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