Today is Wednesday, Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. On the average Thanksgiving day, There is a Turkey, a Ham, 3-4 casseroles (such as merliton, eggplant, oyster dressing, baked macaroni...) Rice, Peas, maybe stuffed bell peppers, maybe gumbo, and a couple of pies/cheesecakes. Even if there is only 3 of us, my parents and I spend the whole day in the kitchen cooking together. In the good ole days before Katrina, we consistently found ourselves at my Aunt Gloria's house on Wednesday evening chopping seasoning that would be used to cook the next day and prepping meals to just pop into the oven the next day. we would be there till midnight, go home and come back bright and early the next day. The Thanksgiving Day parade would be on in the kitchen and Christmas music would be sounding down the hall from the den. We would cook cook cook till around 7 and then we would thank the good Lord for providing us with such a wonderful meal and feast on the deliciousness.
Christmas was very similar. Christmas eve was much like thanksgiving eve, we'd have the chopping party, the get pretty and go to midnight Mass at St. James. We all went to the same church, my cousin and I grew up in this church and 5 aunts/uncles lived within walking distance. After Mass we would kiss everybody Merry Christmas, go back to my Aunt Glo's house and drink egg nog. The next morning we would go to Mass again usually because I was an alter server and my Mass was always the 8am. Then much like Thanksgiving Day we went back to her house to cook and eat and be merry.
The holidays changed a little before the storm but we still tried to keep the visits even though it was at a different location. I honestly lost track of how many years things were different, but it didn't really matter because we were still together. After the storm, my parents and I didn't drive down to visit much. The first year, my brother came down for thanksgiving, it was the first time we ever had Thanksgiving at our house. It was the first year I cooked the ham, and it was a huge beautiful ham. Then for Christmas, we went up to my brothers house with my sister who flew in to visit for a while. That was interesting. New. It really felt strange though, I missed my extended family; I missed New Orleans. After getting jobs and being a church musician, leaving town for the holidays was harder to manage. The same with my brother & sister-in-law, they weren't able to travel down to us either. So the 3 of us carried on, cooking more food than necessary but always sharing it with people who couldn't go home, or didn't have family. and we'd freeze the rest. Sometimes, we'd spend so much time prepping and cooking that by the time the food was made we were too exhausted to really eat most of it. Honestly, none of that ever mattered. its the time we spent together cooking. Growing up in a big Catholic New Orleans family, you spend most of your time in the kitchen. It's where you chat, read the newspaper, play cards, and drink coffee. Most of my memories take place in my Aunt Gloria's kitchen. She passed in 2008 and I took it really hard. It was just more change. Her health had been failing for a while, but she was still the center of my holiday memories. She was really more like a grandmother to me. I spent more time at her house than my own. We couldn't help but think of her during the holidays every year after her passing. By now my parents and I had out own little traditions. They were never perfect, and sometimes things went awry, but they were ours. I began to cook the Turkey in a roaster because it made it more moist. My dad & I would have fun experimenting with the cajun injector and I started stuffing the turkey meat with a garlic/seasoning/pepper mix my dad concocted. I would get creative with the pineapple designs I made on the ham. My mom and I would try baking new recipes, such as cranberry pumpkin bread pudding. I finally learned how to make egg nog. And as is the case with my family, at some point during the day we would argue, it just happens. That stupid city finally became home.
I'm thinking about all of this because tomorrow will be my first time away from my family.
Family time has been a huge part of my life, especially during the holidays.
I've had a rough day wrapping my head around the fact that I can't be home.
It was especially hard this morning after class when all of my friends were together chatting as usual and then they were all gone, headed home to be with their families. I have an invite to someone's family dinner tomorrow, but I don't need a place to eat, its not about the food, I need my family.
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