Put another 'x' on the calendar, Summer's on it's deathbed. There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends...

I've been crazy vocal via social network lately, I'm not sure why, maybe cuz I'm not surrounded by my peeps and I feel the need to share every silly thought, every frustration, every happy purchase, .......just a bunch of ridiculousness really. I preface this post with that because if you follow me via (insert any social network name here cuz I probably have it) then you may be very aware of whats been going on. 


However, if you just love to read me droning on about my days of wonderful mediocrity than please do continue to read.


As all incoming graduate students in the majority of the universities around the country, I too had to take placement exams yesterday. History proves that I am a  horrible test taker. I freak out while studying, I retain nothing, and have trouble not hyperventilating. For these 4 exams I pulled all necessary materials needed to study and brought them with me to BR this summer. I even purchased extra books to attempt to learn things i may not have covered the first time around. I carried my books to work, clocked out early to study, brought flashcards to go through while waiting in line for a spot in Zumba, and spent my Friday nights at home, organizing my study materials. Then came my cousin's wedding.... Studying went on the back burner and my wedding preparations took over.


After the wedding things were yet again hectic, i cant remember why, exactly. I know I was sick a lot. I slept a lot. I worked late a lot. I spend many a night in, drinking wine and reading a novel. And then when I felt ok, I enjoyed life, and the company of my cousins and closest friends.....hmmmm
Seems like I forgot all about studying.
Thus far, I had only studied pedagogy. I decided that I could not go into this program already having a masters and fail these tests. However, when it comes to theory, I have to be actively "practicing" for months to even be mediocre. So, I already gave up on doing well in that subject. History, I was not worried about. Diction, I needed to refresh my memory, but i felt pretty confident. I SHOULD know diction, it is a skill I need in life. If I did bad in diction, it wouldn't say much for my abilities. 
So pedagogy, a class I was very comfortable with, very confident in my knowledge and actually enjoy. I did not want to fail this test so it took priority. 


Life happened...moving/packing/moving/displacement/unpacking...this was 2 weeks of my life, then all of a sudden my exams were in 4 days and i needed to run to New Orleans for a doctors appointment.
(I know there are doctors in SA, I like her, her tech, and the nurses, I needed to be there)
I tried studying in the car ride. I looked over my F&A book to re-internalized Sonata form, I read over my outlines from my first semester of historical survey, I read through my handy dandy portable IPA flip book. As for Ped, I decided to not try to learn anything "new" and to just focus on the things i already know & the things i know I have trouble with. I  spend a ton of time trying to understand "formants" and the rest re-learning origin/insertion points and jobs of the abdominal muscles. 


As it got later and later on Friday night, my stomach grew tighter and tighter. Thankfully I got reassurance, words of wisdom, and confidence boosters from a few wonderful people. And i'm sure prayer helped, I asked several people who are tight with the "big guy" to say some prayers for me since I'm sure He gets way tired of hearing me complain and whine about frivolousness....My spiritual relationship with God is like the boy who cried wolf.


So instead of staying up all night to touch on all the topics i didn't go over, I decided to sleep. 
I thought about it, what was I really afraid of? I was afraid of my pride being hurt.
I have studied all necessary topics to earn a MM, I have been tested and proved to be proficient. 
I should not have to "study" for these tests, I should know the information. And if i don't know it or have forgotten things so completely, then i should have to review it.
With these thoughts and nice hot shower, I went to bed, and i was out.


I was so proud of myself. I did not freak out AT ALL. I was as calm as a cucumber all day. Went from test to test. Confident and not giving up. when i came to things i wasn't sure of I moved on and came back later. I knew I failed the ped. After looking at the questions, I knew it was hopeless. So i decided to proved my solid knowledge in the sections I could, answered others vaguely, and left a few blank. 
(my only frustration came from things that I know i learned but forgot to review, wasted points)
I sailed through history, praising Dr. James Boldin for his thoroughness in teaching and excitement for the subject he taught. It always feels good to know exactly want you need to know without hesitation. 


I laughed during the theory exam, that's how bad I was it.


Summary of the day: SUCCESS!!! I didn't vomit, cry, shake, or freak out AT ALL!!!
I was social, spoke to all these new people I don't care to meet, I was friendly and talkative.
I was proud of myself. 
So even though I failed half of my exams, I feel like I walked away from this experience bettered by it.


So, here is the end of my freedom, I have 2 more days, well....not even 2 more days.....
Tomorrow I have to register, I have to practice, Tuesday I have auditions for the TBA opera production, I have to practice, Wednesday classes begin......


......so back to the song I quoted as my title, saying goodbye to my freedom...and other things...
"Put another 'x' on the calendar, Summer's on it's deathbed. There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends..."