These are the days of my life

Kind of a weird blog…Disjunct cuz I wrote a little bit ever couple days this week. Also...I used lots of incomplete phrases instead of sentences...maybe it's symbolic of something...nerd 

Wake up, get out of bed 

Walk to couch where Xander curls up next to me, resting his head on my leg and we snooze. 

Get up, attempt to clean kitchen but pour a bowl of cereal instead and have a staring contest with X while he eyes the milk dripping from my spoon....

Unemployment sucks.

What's even worst than not having anything to do and no money, is not feeling well enough to do anything.

I've been thinking about starting a HS blog, something more daily where I can vent and talk about all the treatments I've tried. Maybe some other sufferers will find it and we can commiserate or help each other.

I mean, I'm getting more comfortable about being open but it's hard to talk about.

This week I'm working a choir camp.

Should be simple, I thought.

Unfortunately, the days are so long and I'm stuck in the same clothes for 15 hours. I had to change for different activities 3 times yesterday but I forgot to bring extra bandages.

When I finally go to bed, I can only get 5 hours of sleep, though I can barely sleep. When I wake up, I'm as stiff as a board and every inch of me hurts.

My job required me to reach a lot which is better than the other counselors who had to play games and such, but it was still difficult at times.

I applied for disability in april/may because I want to try some treatments or surgery, I wouldn't be able to work during my healing process and I can just start a job and take leave. So i decided for my betterment and alleviated stress level, this was the way to go. I doubt I'll get it. My case is weird but I want to try it. So today I finally had my first examination. It was more of a discussion and a can you walk, touch your toes...ect...

Then he actually looked at me but he doesn't know much about my issue. He said so. He also said he'd try to build me a case. I froze up in there. I couldn't effectively talk about how it interfered with my everyday life. Stupid. I'm sure I blew my chances. One more exam on the 12th, psych. 

Today was a very nice morning. It was half overcast, looked like rain, and breezy. I enjoyed my walk to the bus and around the doctor's office.

Then it got hot & sunny.

So I'm trying to get to the DMV cuz my license expired 2 days ago. Can't figure out which bus, and where to catch it, then realize that I don't have cash for the DMV or change to catch the bus. While this is happening, this 40/50 yr old Mexican man walked up to me speaking Spanish, I say I don't speak it and brush him off. But no, he starts speaking broken English to me. Next thing I know, he's telling me that Market Square has lots of good jobs that pay cash and $9/hour. Then he says I'm "muy bonita" and have nice hair and face and ect... I think I'm almost done with him but next he says "you eat? We can find food here. I'm hungry, you should eat, we can get tuna"

... 

Yep, I sure can attract them with my messy bun, sweaty face, and fat ass.

I gave up, had lunch with a friend and caught the bus back home.

But I'm trying not to be depressed even though  I only have $6 to my name....yep, that's all

And here's some updates, since this has turned into a blog about my dating life...

I have a date tonight with a sweet guy who seems just as silly as me.

Classic: dinner and a movie...though it might change to late night bowling and pizza...how wonderfully cliche.

(Whoa, just realized, I have a date on a friday night...how mainstream of me)

I'm cynical so I figure I'll find his dark spot soon. (I'm actually super excited and kinda nervous, which is new)

We talked on the phone for two hours last night about nothing and there were no awkward pauses at all so should be a chatty night of me getting burned about playing D&D.

If you were wondering, I didn't have to pick Victor or Charlie, they both dropped me...that was fun

I guess the stupid dating keeps my mind off of the serious things, makes me feel a little more normal. Rejection, I guess, is less painful and more normal that feeling like an 80 yr old and not being able to keep up the same social life your friends do.

I deactivated my accounts though, I'm kinda over it. Maybe it's time to face my issues again. Time to buck up and try new treatments. change my diet again, something less drastic so it's not so stressful and expensive. I'm thinking a diabetic diet to get rid of excess sugar. I've read that these types of things feed on sugar. Can do much of anything though, if I can't buy groceries....

And right now, I'm finishing this blog while the piano is being played and my roommate is singing.

This is so nice.

Life ain't so bad

                                                       

So it looks like we've come full circle,

And these are the days of my life.....